Review – Masters of the Universe Battle Bones

I’ve made no secret of the fact that I love old school action figure playsets (here’s my list of ten cool playsets and here’s a post on five cardboard and plastic playsets) but there’s something else that I really love: carrying cases for action figures. The goofier the design, the better. Some of the greatest are the old Star Wars Chewbacca Bandolier case and the Laser Rifle Carrying Case. Those were crazy, awesome cases and even today they’re fantastic pieces.

Well, Masters of the Universe also had an amazing carrying case. And here it is!

Packaging

At 19-inches long and 7-inches tall (about 12-inches tall when you count the header piece), this is one hell of a box. When the package arrived in the mail I was a little surprised by the size; I had never owned one of these when I was a kid so I’d never really realized what a big piece it is.

And it’s a beautiful box! One thing toys are seriously missing these days is beautiful box art. In the eighties, Transformers, G.I Joe, M.A.S.K., and Masters of the Universe all had awesome painted artwork on the boxes (and even, sometimes, packed in comics). Today we usually get a photo of the toy. That’s not nearly as cool as great artwork.

And even the back of the box, which shows several toys in the series, uses paintings rather than photos. Yeah, if someone out there wants to seriously impress me with their toy line then they’ll step it up a notch and use paintings on the packaging rather than photos. After all, I can see photos anywhere (I hear rumors that there are sites out there that review toys and even post photos), but it’s not every day that I get to see original artwork based on a toy.

My favorite toy on the back of the box? Probably Roton. What a crazy, screwy design.

Some Assembly Required

Battle Bones, as you can see in the photo above, comes in pieces. You’ll need a screwdriver and about five minutes to put this guy together, but the second he’s together you’ll see just how huge he is. The assembly is easy, with the legs snapping right on and the screws firmly holding the two halves — and the carrying handle — tight together.

Battle Bones!

A giant, skeletal beast about 27-inches long, 8-inches wide, and 4-inches tall, Battle Bones has a dozen spaces for Masters of the Universe action figures. Or, as you can see in the photos below, any action figure that you can fit into the rib slots.

As neat as the toy looks, though, there’s really not much to it. The legs are fixed in place and unmovable, the tail is a solid stick of plastic, and the only moving part on the entire toy is the opening mouth (which is where you can hide small figures or carry accessories).

Battle Bones doesn’t have a lot of play value, but that certainly doesn’t stop him from being fun. Just load him up with action figures and hit the back yard. So far I’ve stuck Glyos System figures on him (as you can see), stormtroopers, and G.I. Joe action figures. I tried a few of the newer Masters of the Universe Classics figures but they’re so tall that Battle Bones’ feet can’t touch the ground if you stick two figures on each side of him.

Closing Thoughts

Battle Bones has never been considered one of the better Masters of the Universe toys, but that doesn’t stop it from being neat. It’s unusual, a fairly inexpensive piece (I paid $10 for this guy in a sealed box), and looks great once you stock it with action figures. If you’re looking for a bizarre addition to your toy collection — and if you can find one nice and cheap — I say grab one of these guys. He’s a cheap piece of plastic but how can you go wrong with a skeletal action figure carrying case?

Philip Reed wants to find a few more carrying cases, and would love to find one that’s even stranger than this guy. Any suggestions?