A G.I. Joe Shopping Spree

I can remember the summer of 1986. I was an awkward, nerdy kid who had not yet found the self-confidence to do more than have a few friends and spend the majority of my time reading books and comics, drawing, writing, and playing. It was also my first summer with a real job — two, actually, over the course of the summer months — and throughout the summer the money I earned went to the things I wanted: comics, books, and toys.

That summer I mostly bought Transformers when it came to toys. I had the occasional other purchase, but I’d guess 80%+ of my buys were various Transformers toys. I was mostly focusing on Decepticons, but that was also the summer I bought Metroplex so we can tell I was digging in deep.

And then the G.I. Joe cartoon aired all five parts of Arise, Serpentor, Arise* and I suddenly found myself once again eyeing G.I. Joe toys. I had been reading the comic up to that point, but I don’t think I’d actually bought any G.I. Joe toys in over a year.

One evening, after school that fall of 1986, I dramatically changed my lack of G.I. Joe toys with an insane shopping spree.

You see, I’d gotten my last check from the summer jobs and when my parents picked me up after school and started hitting various stores I soon found myself building a collection of G.I. Joe vehicles and action figures.

I cannot remember the exact mix, or the sequence I bought them in, but what I do remember is I stocked up quite well that evening and bought more than any kid ever should.

Serpentor with Air Chariot

There was no way that after watching the cartoon I was going to miss a chance to grab my own Serpentor with Air Chariot (yojoe.com), so this was a must. And I think this was my first purchase that night, but as I’ve mentioned I really can’t be sure of the exact order I bought these in. Hey, it was almost thirty years ago and I’m old! Give me a break.

Hawk

The G.I. Joe General, Hawk (yojoe.com), was another purchase that evening. I seem to remember that my reasoning for buying Hawk was that I needed a G.I. Joe leader to go up against a Cobra leader, but I also remember Hawk not being my favorite buy of the night.

B.A.T.

The Battle Android Trooper (yojoe.com) was one I clearly made a mistake with . . . I only bought one of them that night! Over the next several months, through roughly the summer of 1987, I kept buying G.I. Joe toys and managed to collect a total of three B.A.T.s, but I kinda wish I’d bought several that first night.

Cobra Stun

The Stun (yojoe.com) is clearly a bizarre contraption, but something about the way the vehicle looked — not to mention the Motor Viper’s fantastic appearance — caught my attention. I was applying the stickers to the vehicle on the drive home that evening, messing up several in the dark. I never have been the most patient of people, not even three decades ago.

Crimson Guard

I actually didn’t buy all that many single-carded action figures that night, my brain figuring allowance and random work around the neighborhood would make it easier to scrounge up cash for a figure than it would a vehicle. The Crimson Guard toy (yojoe.com) was selected solely because I loved the look and was enjoying the Crimson Guard in the comics.

Dr. Mindbender

The Cobra mad scientist, Dr. Mindbender (yojoe.com) was grabbed that night for only two reasons:

1. His connection to Serpentor in the comics and cartoon.
   
2. He appears on the Cobra Stun box art.

Seriously, those were my reasons for buying the toy. I was clearly a disturbed child.

Triple ‘T’

The last toy I can remember buying that night, the Triple ‘T’ with Sgt. Slaughter (yojoe.com) is another buy that was influenced by Arise, Serpentor, Arise*. Sue me, I fell prey to Hasbro’s evil marketing campaign in watching the cartoon and then buying the toy. Hey, we all did at one point or another when we were children of the eighties. It was fun.

It Didn’t End There

The evening may have been over, but my rediscovered love of G.I. Joe toys was only starting. Over the next several weeks I spent more and more of the summer job money, adding the Conquest X-30, Snow Cat, A.W.E. Striker, and several action figures to my expanding collection. I never did get myself a Terror Drome, but don’t think I didn’t want one.

I also kept watching the cartoon, buying the comic, and was soon engaged in the art of “customizing” G.I. Joe action figures with friends as we took the figures apart and swapped parts around. Nothing compared to what today’s toy artists do, but still a fun activity.

I’m not sure why G.I. Joe never caught my imagination again quite like it did between about 1986 and 1987 — and a little into 1988, and the comics even later — but maybe other parts of life took over and squashed any space I had for Joes.

I have to admit, though, that writing this does make me wish I had all of those old vehicles once again. Never enough time, room, or money for everything I guess.

And that’s sorta sad.