Review – Ballpen Robot Byros (1984)

There was a school back in the eighties that told the kids: Leave your robots at home! Clearly, the best way to get around that problem was the Ballpen Robot Byros toy. “A robot? Not at all, sir. This is my pen.” That’s right, boys and girls, back in 1984 you could fool everyone with this poorly-designed cheap transforming robot toy that turned into a . . . what in the hell is this thing?

School Robot Series

Part of the School Robot Series which also included Sharpener Robot Barsard and Eraser Robot Myzar, the Ballpen Robot Byros stands 4-inches tall and would make a great companion to the 1985 Lock-Man robot toy (review here). I’d like to get this out of the way before we take a closer look at Ballpen Robot Byros: This toy is terrible, yes, but I’d still love to track down the other two toys in the School Robot Series. The word “awesful” comes to mind.

Pen Mode

That warped, twisted, and bizarre chunk of plastic in the above photo is the toy in pen mode. The transformation is fairly lame — push the legs together, fold the feet, rotate the chest/arm parts back — and the result is unfortunately not even as cool as the illustration on the package. Also, the two pen tips are extended when the toy is in pen mode so I’m not sure how you were ever going to use this as an ink pen. Despite the overall lameness of the pen mode I’d like to reiterate: Damn, I wanna find Sharpener Robot Barsard and Eraser Robot Myzar!

Robot Mode

Shockingly, Ballpen Robot Byros has a tiny bit of articulation. The feet are hinged at the ankles (for transformation), the legs swing outward at the hips, and the shoulders are on swivels that allow the arms to swing 360-degrees. Hey, I didn’t say the toy had a lot of articulation, what were you expecting?

Fortunately, the robot’s design is a blast. The sculpt is decent enough — especially for a $2 transforming robot toy — with that chrome head the best part of the design. A couple of stickers on the chest add detail, and the little bit of chrome at the wrists stops the arms from being blue chunks of plastic with some sculpted detail. Ballpen Robot Byros fits in perfectly with the worst of my eighties cheap transforming robot toys.

Closing Thoughts

I’m pretty sure that you don’t buy a toy like Ballpen Robot Byros because you’re expecting a masterpiece of transforming robot engineering. No, this toy — and the others in the School Robot Series — is one of those designs we buy as collectors because it’s so odd and terrible. I again return to the word “awesful” to describe Ballpen Robot Byros. Great idea, bad design, and probably not the sort of toy we can sneak past Principal Bill Stutsman in 1985. Sorry, Byros, but you’re just not a convincing ink pen. Good thing you are a neat toy.