The Ten Most Radical Star Wars Toys of 1983
With Return of the Jedi, the team at Kenner went all out, producing so many action figures, vehicles, and playsets for the launch of the film that there was no way an eleven year old me could hope to have them all. But with so many toys made for the Star Wars Collection in 1983 there had to be some really awesome designs . . . and some toys that to this day look a bit unusual. Join me as I explore the ten “most radical” Star Wars toys of 1983.
Disclaimer: “Most Radical” was selected because it sounded silly. In truth I can say these are just ten Return of the Jedi toys I felt like chattering on about.
- Ewok Village Playset –The Ewoks, to this day, remain a sore spot for some Star Wars fans and critics. Cute, violent, and transformed into pure adorable as the line evolved, the Ewoks seem to be one of those love them or hate them parts of the Star Wars universe. My only real complaint is that Kenner sunk their funds into the Ewok Village Playset instead of a proper palace playset for Jabba.
- Jabba the Hutt – Looking past the “it’s a giant worm action figure!” thing, this toy has some really odd play features for kids including chains and slave collars, a throne that functions as a dungeon, and even the necessary tools for our worm to smoke. Looking at all of these things together makes me wonder if Star Wars would have done all this if Return of the Jedi were being made today.
- Jabba the Hutt Play-Doh – And as if it’s not enough to give kids a toy hookah there’s even a Play-Doh version of Jabba the Hutt! Yes, 1983 was the “Year of the Worm” when it came to Kenner’s Star Wars toys.
- Jabba the Hutt Dungeon Playset – I really wish I had been there for the meeting when this playset was proposed. “I know,” someone at Kenner said, “We’ll go one past Jabba’s smoking tools and slave collar and give kids a playset where they can torture their toys!” Pure genius, Kenner! I love it!
- Nien Nunb – Offer expires June 15, 1983, so you’d better . . . oh, wait. 1983, not 2013. Anyway, it feels fitting that our first solo character on the list is a bizarre mouse-eared creature that looks far too weird and awesome to ignore. I remember just having to grab this guy when he saw them. There’s just something about the character design that makes me happy.
- Prune Face – And then we have the opposite of Nien Nunb . I remember being a tad confused by Prune Face when I was a kid; where was this guy in Jabba’s palace? It wasn’t until years later that I figured out he was actually a Rebel and not a villain. And since young me saw him as a villain I still think that sometimes today.
- Rancor Monster – I never had the Rancor Monster as a kid, but I sure as hell wanted one! That is one awesome sculpt, and what kid wouldn’t want a monster to eat their action figures? The toy design is actually very basic, but that still doesn’t matter since the character design is great. And giving the toy the ability to “bite” action figures? Genius!
- Ree-Yees – Where do I even begin? Should we talk about the three eyes? The unusual mouth design? Those hands? Or maybe we should take a closer look at that brown bodysuit. I think the best part of this action figure has to be the sculpting; just compare this guy to one of the earlier Cantina alien action figures for an idea of how far Kenner progressed with the Star Wars Collection in only five years.
- Speeder Bike – A flying motorcyle? Radical! The only real problem with the Speeder Bike is that it clearly demonstrated the one major flaw with Kenner’s Star Wars Collection action figures: The toys cannot sit naturally! This wasn’t a problem for most vehicles, and even the Dewback design worked with the figure’s with no problems, but the Speeder Bike pointed out how the lack of knee joints hurt things a little. If this vehicle had been in the original Star Wars movie would Kenner have designed the toys with knee joints from Day One?
- Sy Snootles and the Max Rebo Band – And it’s back to Jabba’s Palace one more time before we close out our list. I never had Max Rebo and his buddies when I was a kid, but watching this commercial makes me question why I wasn’t begging my parents every single week for this three pack. Great sculpts, and the alien designs are so far out there that yes, this is a great way to close out our list of radical Star Wars toys of 1983.
Closing Thoughts
With Return of the Jedi our Star Wars fun in the eighties was coming to a close. In 1983 I didn’t realize that, but roughly a year later my mind was turning to other things, and by 1985 I was really into the Transformers character designs and toys and Star Wars — with no new films on the horizon — was losing steam and speed in my mind.
But we all know how the next thirty years played out and how Star Wars came back stronger than ever in the nineties. When we stop and think about it, the 1977 to 1985 run of Star Wars merchandise everywhere was actually just a small part of it’s life; since the Kenner figures on 1995 we’ve had Star Wars toys on shelves for almost two solid decades . . . much longer than the vintage line’s lifespan.
And more Star Wars movies and toys on the way? That’s just radical!
I had the rancor & he was lost to time…i recently picked him up in box at Toy Man St. Louis. Hes was my ultimate “holy grail” & he looks amazing eating bacon (gammorean) on the shelf! I urge you to find him!
& I still don’t believe prune-face is a rebel hero! He was always an evil space pirate for me!
great stuff Phil!
Dude, this was a great piece. Definitely the best thing I will read all day.
I had Rancor as well! Alas, Walrus Man was permanently lost to his ravenous hunger, though he did enjoy rattling around inside from time to time.
The best part about the Speeder Bikes is that they blew up! When you pressed the button on the back (disguised as a folded up blanket) the front fork would fall off and the body would come off. I got a lot of use out of that action…my GI Joes got a lot of use out of this thing since they could actually bend a the knees.
@Matthew M – Good to hear I’m not the only one who typecast Prune Face as a bad guy.
@drrampageo – Thanks! I wanted to post something a little special for the 30 Years day idea. In the end I figured a look at Jedi toys was the best way to go.
@T-Rav – You need to read more!!! Seriously, thanks. Very kind of you.
@Jay – Poor Walrus Man. Now I’ll be shaking every Rancor I ever see at a flea market or convention.
@Brian – I totally should have mention the exploding feature! I failed.